When I rule the world: Part One

There are some things that just aren't fair to me. Call is selfish or mean spirited but somethings just don't seem to be fair. Some things are just not fair to me--period while other things are not fair in general. Facing these injustices has always rubbed me the wrong way and made me wish that I could rule the world and solve all of these problems handily and in one fail swoop. So...I have a list of things I would do if I were to rule the world, things that would make me feel better at least. This installment will cover just a few, there will be more--plenty more.

When I rule the world:

• Banks will not be allowed to charge you for insufficient funds. Clearly if anyone on the planet knows about your financial insufficiency it would be your bank. To charge you money when you clearly do not have money is just not fair or right. Banks will have to come up with something else.
• Banks will also not be allowed to charge you for any service they provide. It is simply ridiculous to do that. Bank patrons will be able to charge inconvenience fees if they have to drive more that 3 miles to get to their bank to make their transactions. This fee will be based on a graduated scale and will not exceed $10,000 per violation.
• Any and all Petroleum companies that show a profit will be required to return that money to the patrons of their gas stations. This return will be done by dividing the gallons of gas sold by the profit made and then giving that much off at the pump. If the gas comes out free with the patrons getting one or two dollars then so be it. That is for you to work out on your own-Bub!
• Any company that charges you an interest rate will not be allowed to charge more than one percent of the amount borrowed. If they feel the need to charge more to punish and cause pain and suffering then it cannot be more than 5% in one billing cycle.
• The cellular phone industry will be radically transformed. Flat fees will be paid to providers and you call whoever you want whenever you want. Land line phone companies have done it that way for centuries and it works great for them.
• Any vehicle that is equipped with that heart thumping, car vibrating stereo thing will be instantly destroyed, no questions asked. That crap can be enjoyed in the isolation of your own place and not inflicted upon those who are surrounded by them.
• Certain vehicles will be equipped with rocket launchers. Stupid drivers will be annihilated without explanation. If are going to drive then you will drive with sense. This includes anyone who drives in a lane fully knowing they will be changing lanes, but choose to go faster just to get ahead--Boom!
• My cellular phone service will be destroyed along with every single employee paid to provide the services they sell. Gone, they will be gone!