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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Ground Hog Day and other thoughts

My four-year-old, Titus, is one of the most wonderful creations in God's big book of creations. He has brought me more joy than almost anything carbon based. I just love that boy! I totally love to talk to him and listen to his take on how life is working. He actually has "evryfing" figured out. From the things he says to the dance moves he shows off. He's just a gem.
We were on the way to his preschool just a few days ago following Ground Hog Day and Titus was very puzzled by this holiday. He had fully explored the entire holiday at school and even came home with a rather impressive fridge art silhouette of a ground hog which we will proudly display and preserve for the Presidential Library. His only dilemma was that, "The Ground Hog didn't come visit me? Why?" How could this sage, seasoned holiday mascot not make a stop by his house? The Easter Bunny never misses, Santa Claus always comes through even St. Patrick has not let him down. Why would the Ground Hog not make his stop and leave his ground hog basket? Well...you can imagine the deflation when he realized that Ground Hog's day was nothing more than a rat looking for his shadow. Ground Hog day will never be same for him; the post-office will stay open as will the banks and Hallmark isn't planning a big line of Ground Hog Day merchandise and there won't be treats or presents in his future Ground Hog Day celebrations. Fortunately, he was immediately distracted and on to the opossum squished on the road--that's another story for another day.
Other things-well actually just one...
For those of you who read this blog and happen to look through all of the comments you will see some very definite themes. First, I don't really have command of punctuation and grammar, spelling is...well, I'm OK. I do know that periods and commas should occasionaly grace themselves on the page but can't really get in touch with their actual location. It's just a mystery, like trying to understand why football is so dad-gummed popular! Second, Mildred will always point out with ease and unsettling joy ALL of those flaws and errors. Mildred, is a great, great friend but, Holy Buckets!, she drives me crazy! One of the most classic examples of her love affair with finding fault in me has to do with a church bulletin.
I am a minister and have worked for several churches in my day. One such church experience brought Mildred and her family to worship at the same congregation as my family. I was the only person on staff full time and as such in charge of writing, editing, and mailing the church bulletin each week. Mildred's a perfectionist from way, way back especially with regard to type setting and publishing (that is how we came to know each other was through the printing company she and her husband owned). Each weeks bulletin brought on a new wave of fodder for her enjoyment and yet another red pen would freely die spilling it's red blood across her bulletin. I was slaughtered each week with the countless errors and almost believed that my name was, "idiot." Well, as my luck would have it Mildred was hoping to get a job as a type setter for a local printer and for some reason came to the conclusion that the bulletin I published and sent to 50 people in some way incriminated her as a bad type setter. She sent a letter to this fella disclaiming any association to the publishing, production, or writing of our weekly bulletin! Needless to say I am still holding on to that one!
Why I am setting myself up for more ridicule, on a global scale and not just some local yocal printer, is really beyond myself to understand. But, to know Mildred is to love Mildred irritation and all.
I'll have to write more later, I have another article to hand in for our bulletin this week. Someone alert the printer!

3 comments:

Donna said...

No, no, no.....that's all wrong (imagine that). I didn't write the guy a letter and I didn't seek the job. He found out I was a graphic designer and he wanted someone to work from his shop. It didn't work out because I needed to work from home. Before Will came to our church I DID DO THE BULLETIN. I did not want this guy to think that I STILL DID THE BULLETIN. Good Lord....he would have never hired me. I didn't write a letter but, when I returned his phone call, I told his answering machine to "make no mistake about it, I no longer had anything to do with the production of our church bulletin." He received that bulletin every month. I couldn't have him thinking I did that kind of work.
Will is the best children's minister in the United States, but he will never be employed in graphic design.
Mildred loves you William and she just wants to keep you dusted off and looking polished ;).
BTW...don't you just love Titus?? He's a character!

Tracy said...

poor titus thinking he was gonna get a visit from Puxatawney Phil. Perhaps you can rent him the movie :-)
and only mildred would set the record straight on you ROTFLOL! But you said it - to know her to to absolutely love her :-)

Babsarella said...

This just cracked me up!!! :0)