Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Let Them do Butter!

On my way to my favorite Barista this morning for that delicious Non-fat White Mocha, please stir. I was contemplating something to chew, a pastry or other fine indulgence. There really isn't a close shop that is on my way to the Barista, when I almost gave into the temptation of buying the pastries at my Barista. That is when it suddenly came to me--They are crap! I've given several of their pastries and other baked goods a fair turn, on more than one occasion and more than one shop in several states. Each and every experience--crap. They are beautiful and attracting and look to be delicious, but they aren't. Companies should just do what made them famous. Why would you venture out into the unknown field of what you don't know and not just make what you do that made you famous even better?
Grocery stores need to stick to selling groceries and not trying to cook them. The only exception to this is in the rotisserie chicken department. All other condiments or side dishes are just not edible, I can't see how people do that to themselves. I noticed at my grocery store recently that there are mashed potatoes and other side dishes in a tub, made by a company not known for anything but margarine--what a crock! Why would people assume that they know how to make macaroni and cheese, mash a potato or scallop one for that matter? They do butter for heaven sake--LET THEM DO BUTTER. It really doesn't' make sense to me at all.
Mildred will tell you that I have long held to this philosophy, "stick to what you know! Just because it is a brand you recognize doesn't mean they know diddly squat about that which didn't make them famous." I've been burned one too many times by Brands who want to use their identity to launch into fields they just shouldn't be going into. Again, there are some exceptions to this rule, but not many. Some brands don't get it wrong and do a great job of doing what they do well and with pride.
Every time I walk form the parking lot into Wal-Mart I nearly choke from the smell of their huge vats of hot grease cooking up another batch of processed popcorn chicken and spewing that horrendous funk into the atmosphere. It is just disgusting, I don't eat at my grocery store nor do I eat at my gas station. Gas stations are known for cheap sodas and gas--period. Stick with what you know. Would we be fooled into thinking that Goodyear has the ticket when it comes to tasty cookies? Or Lysol launching a line of beverage and flavored water? What about Valvoline cooking oil? See it just doesn't' make sense now does it? Would you buy thoothpaste made by Preparation H? Come on they know how to stuff things into a tube! Stick with what you know, please. I don't want to know what my favorite soda tastes like in a pound cake, thank you very much. I don't want to even try my favorite sausage factory prepared and packaged with other factory prepared and sealed breakfast goods--no thanks.
I'm thrilled with those who do what they do well, doing it even better. You should have seen me do my mental happy dance when I saw my first stick of Crisco! Oh, thank you Lord! For years I have lamented to Mildred that I want already firmly packed brown sugar, please. If the Crisco magicians can do it so can those who sell the California and Hawaiian brand of brown sugar! Low and behold viola--firmly packed brown sugar right there on the shelf for my purchasing pleasure. It is remarkably like the Crisco magicians packaging. If only the hot dog and hot dog bun folks could come together! I don't think I could take it, but I'd sure like to try. My favorite vegetable oil even has an easy measure cap, just like my favorite laundry detergent, one less measuring cup to dirty! Glory, Glory hallelujah! Now for cocoa powder that doesn't explode when you try to scoop more than a tablespoon out of the oddly shaped canister. At least it's not in that maddening man-hole canning method of yesteryear--Oh talk about frustration! I love the ketchup industry inventing a silicone valve that allows you to dispense ketchup cleanly. No more crunchy ketchup nuggets to deal with. I'm equally thrilled with the other bottled, "it should have been made to store upside down from the get go"revolutions. They are wonderful and easy--I'm still going to make my own Ranch dressing though, thanks for offering but I'll pass on that hydrogenated nightmare.
I'm looking forward to the day that the cereal box industry revolutionizes their packaging technology. What a fun day that will be when you don't have to be destroyed by the pulverized cellophane bags and demolished cardboard flaps. At least they aren't made of wax paper glued to the side of the box anymore, but that is slow progress. When I rule the world and those who do what they do great do something fantastic, it will become an industry standard a requirement for all to follow. That is if I decide to keep the brands I don't like around instead of destroying them for convenience sake.
There will be a special place in hell for the record industry executives, marketing directors, and factory employees who obey mindlessly ignoring the clarion call for revolution. They will all have socks on their hands that cannot be removed. Then there will be one billion CD's that must be opened before you can be elevated to the normal hell department and just live in misery. Just do what the gum folks did a long, long time ago and install an easy open tear strip. It's not that hard. and please don't stick a sticker on the CD case it just isn't necessary to have two layers of protection against opening, it really isn't.
So, fellow shopper be on the look out for brands that get cocky and assume that just because they do one thing well they can launch out and do another. Just think, "Are they known for this?" If the answer is, "no" then let it go. Let them do butter it's what they do.


Tracy said...

greed... they're just all greedy.
heaven forfend they let an opportunity pass to make a buck.
that's my theory at least
i remember when i was little we'd go down the street and there was the vegetable store, the butcher, the baker... all specialties - and they were the best. no more. we get convenient, yet sub standard products a lot of the time.
Will's world. i wanna move there! :-)

Donna said...

You taught me this philosophy long ago and I've always lived by it. I've taught it to Luke and I'll teach it to Jackson. It works very well for restaurants too which, I know, you could do another full blog post about.