Memory Lane: Go, Go Granny

Fleeter Ann (Robinson) Hill was my Mom's grandmother. She raised my Mom from birth because her mother, Pauline, couldn't. I've never really been told what the reason was just that she couldn't so there you have it. My Granny had seven children but raised so many of her own grandchildren it wasn't even funny. I still have the hardest time deciding who is and isn't an aunt, great aunt, uncle, cousin, it's just all messed up.

I spent so much time at my Granny's house, had just the best time ever there. She lived at the foot of South street in the teeny tiniest house. There's one specific story that I need to pull out, but I have just hundreds of other stories knocking on my brain's door that it's hard to keep on track with the one I want to share.

Granny was feisty to say the least, stubborn, set in her ways, and always a very colorful person. She wore her hair pulled back into a bun, a perfectly woven tight bun, not a hair out of place--ever. She usually had on a sweater with her dress and wore white keds tennis shoes. Granny was the antithesis of pretentious. She chewed Good Money tobacco. This tobacco was in a figure eight shape and she would cut off a, "chaw" of the stuff and chew it. I'm assuming is was the long leaves of the tobacco plant twisted. She carried a Foldgers coffee can so she could spit out her 'backy' juice. It was the most disgusting thing, but none the less a part of my Granny and I loved her, sumtotally!

Saturday's were spent going to town with Granny. We always went to town with Granny on Saturday's. When I was younger we would go to the square, where she would shop at JC Penny's and the hardware store, etc. Sis and I would go across the street to the courthouse and try to see into the jail, never did get a peek, but it was a great adventure for us. As we got older and Wal-Mart came to town we would go there and then to Consumers market for groceries. Granny usually got the same things each week, predictably.

One Saturday when my sister was in high school we were at consumers. As we picked up Granny and headed to town she was complaining about her clothes being too big. She was just a tiny thing and I don't think I ever saw her buy new clothes. Granny was always devastating my sister in public, asking her how big her boobs were, shoving panties and bras up in the air to see if she needed any. Stuff like that would just send my sister into orbit to the planet mortification! I really loved watching my sister melt into a puddle of humiliation and the look on my Granny's face like, "what did I do?" Great. This particular Saturday would prove to be one my my fondest memories from my childhood because it involved the humiliation of my sister.

We were at Consumers and Sis and Granny were in the produce section when, "Lesa, I need to find a bathroom." "What's wrong Granny?" "The elastic in my underwear just gave way and I'm losing my drawers." "WHAT!"" Just get me to a bathroom." As luck would have it the bathroom was just behind the aluminum produce doors. Just as my sister and Granny walked through the door into the back room Granny's panties gave way and were piled up around her ankles. To make matters worse one of the cute guys at my sister's school that she liked was standing there jaw dropped, eyes popped having just witnessed an 80 year old ladies underwear fall around her ankles. "Hey Lesa, everything ok?" "Yes, we are fine. Granny come on." "Ma'am can I help you?" As the boy was leaning down to help my Granny with her panties, she stepped out of one side and kicked them up to her hand. "No! you don't need to help me. We are just fine. Thank you." As my Granny stuffed the underwear into her purse and turned to exit, my sister was just frozen in humiliation. Not only would she have to spend the rest of the day with her Great Grandmother shopping commando, but she had just encountered a peer--a cute have a crush on you peer--who witnessed the whole debacle.

I still laugh when I think of this story. It's one of my favorite stories of all time. Incidentally, Granny's underwear kind of peeked out of her purse the rest of the shopping trip and my sister just stayed back head hung low, hoping that she would die before Monday rolled around.

I'll have more great Granny stories. Merry Christmas.