Sunday, August 5, 2007

I can see clearly now...

I often get tickled that I live and work on the same street, just 10 miles apart from Point A to Point B, one straight shot with a horrendous bad spot (my cell phone dies there all the time, when I rule the world...wait wrong post). Going home is often times very much the same old, same old because of the familiarity of this stretch. Several months ago and again on Friday I saw my favorite sign of all time. My intentions were to get a photograph of this sign today on my way in to work, but the sign had been removed. I love this sign, really love it! It is made of white poster board that has been cut down to about 9x11 with not one edge straight, but the obvious attempt by the cutter to make it so--love that too. Then there is the advertisement for a daycare in the home of the sign's creator. It reads: 3 Star Daycare then lists the phone number. Can I just tell you how much I love that! I love it for the honesty of it's advertisement. Here's why, the world knows that top-notch is 5-star:

  • if you want to go to a nice restaurant 5-star is the best.
  • Stay in a nice hotel the 5-star top-notch.
  • You buy vehicles which have a five-star crash test rating and turn away from the cars with less than five stars.
  • My Recipeezaar account has 5-stars as the top of the line. The Brunch casserole is by far the most popular of all my recipes.
  • Top of the line Generals are five-star.

So you see, it's pretty much a standard in the "star" rating system that five is the best. Knowing this, the creator of the sign has just decided, "we are 3-star" at best, on our best day when everything is working and running in absolute fate defying perfection we are 3-stars. Most days you can count on 1, maybe 2 stars. Don't you just love that kind of honesty? I wonder how many people who are looking for the "right" person to watch their children as they attempt to scratch out a living think, "There it is! I've been looking for that one person who feels they are mediocre at their very best. I must call that number because I want average to below average care for my child while I can't raise them myself." I just love it.

Some things go without saying that they are not going to be the best of the best, any buffet no matter what the price is NOT going to be good. I don't care how fancy the Country Club, the buffet is not going to be good and eating at a buffet will put your life at risk. One such famous buffet in our town has on their marquee, "Best steak in town." HA! Leather soaked in water is more tender than this hide! It's just ridiculous to have the audacity to make such a statement when it is clearly NOT the case. Maybe when I rule the world this sign maker will have a job assessing the accuracy of one's worth. "Oh, I'm sorry sir, but you are clearly horrible in your effort to create a mega-buffet with Grade-Z beef rejected from the dog food cannery, you'll have to change your sign to say, 'enter at your own risk." Justice!

Wouldn't it be great if we all could see our selves clearly enough to say, "at best I'm 3-stars." That is all you are going to get, don't expect more. When my favorite Barista raised their already outrageous, but so worth it, Non-fatnowhipwhitemochapleasestir slice of heaven I was a little peeved, then more peeved when the excuse was the rising cost of supplies. Just come out and say, "we want to make more money and so we are raising our prices to make more money." It's ok, those of us you have to have will still have to have it and will pay. Now about those destable pastries...

Gas companies don't make excuses (well they might try) they just post quarter profits in the billions and move on down the road! Why are gas prices so high? Because everyone needs gas who drives and they want to make more money. Just when does the billion become trillion? trillion? I think that's right. We'll soon find out if we watch the quarterly profit posting from the oil companies.

So, the next time you see an assertion that something is THE BEST, be very cautious and just say to yourself, "who would want 3-star child care?" Thank you 3-star, whomever you are for you have given me a glimmer of hope and extended my waining view of mediocre, but we think we aren't capitalism. Your ways are great oh mighty, mediocre--sorry, one.


Tracy said...

3 stars....
perhaps thats all they could fit on the sign after they'd hacked it with the trimmer (like it originally had 5 but they kept trying to straighten it and whoops... oh there goes a star... :-))
if only you ruled the world will....

Donna Layton said...

LOL. I don't think you've ever told me the sign wasn't cut straight. Is it still down or have they put a new one up? Wonder if they've decided to change the number of stars???