Iowa, no wonder it's corn country

Having finished my first trip to Sterling City with the sole purpose of meeting the family of my newly "engaged" beauty, Kendra and I had to plan a time for us to go to Missouri to meet "my family." This would not be nearly as traumatising since my family...well-- the recognized family, could all meet at one table in the back room of Olive Garden. Finding the time and shaking free from our lives in Oklahoma City was the problem. Kendra had met my Mom, smiled and said, "Hi...I'm Kendra nice to meet you." to my Dad who, full of profound wisdom and non-stop talking said, "Hi." And she had also met my Sister, although not officially.
Unannounced to me, since I"m completely and totally clueless when it comes to the advances of women, Kendra had a "crush" on me for quite some time. I just thought she was really nice...really, really nice. She had and has this electrifying smile that I would rather watch than any fireworks display because it's more sparkling. Her smile couple with her laugh are all it takes for the cares of this world to completely melt away and seem for an moment to not exist. I love to see her smile and I love to hear her laugh, it's two of my favorite things about living on this third rock from the sun. Many of our friends were getting married to the point that it seemed like every weekend we were getting an invitation to a wedding for someone we knew. That coupled with the fact that I worked for THE most beautiful Church of Christ in all of Oklahoma City meant a lot of wedding were planned there. To make extra money I would do custodial work (you usually got $3-500) for the weekend weddings and for two day work that wasn't half bad.
Kevin Billips and Chaney Luke were getting married at Mayfair and I was doing the custodial work. Sis had come down for a weekend and she was hanging out in the office while I was scraping the watermelon off the driveway. That's the down side to working college student weddings, their friends think it's funny to put watermelon rinds under the wheels. You see when you try to drive off--you don't and the tires just spin...and spin...and spit chunks of hot molten melon rind onto a concrete circle drive used my every elderly lady of the church...who would notice a melon rind riddled circle drive and go into orbit because the beautiful pristine Mayfair was marred--with a fresh melon scent. Kendra was hanging out, with Karen, in the office talking to my sister. After I was done and ready to leave I went into the office and chatted for a minute with Sis and Kendra and Karen and then Sis and I headed off. "That Kendra girl...do you know her." "Yeah, we're friends." "She's really, really nice and I think she likes you. You should ask her out." "Whatever, we are just friends she'd never go out with me I'm not athletic or jockey and she's a total athlete." "You should listen to your Sissy, she likes you--a lot." "Whatever! Let's just do eat and talk about something else." "OK...but she likes you" "SIS!" I really hate it when my sis is right.
My roommate, Jeff had asked his girlfriend, Sharon to be his bride to which she enthusiastically said, "YES!" and they had asked me to officiate the ceremony. This would be my very first ceremony to officiate. Not scraping melon rind of a circle drive---old hat! I had never paid attention to the words of a ceremony..too busy watching all the action of weddings. They are great places to gawk at folks. Sharon had told me she wanted something traditional, timeless, the trend was to be non-traditional and uber cool ( I blame it on the Young & Restless weddings). I had this book of weddings and such from like 1947 that I thought timeless. After all it's nearly 50 years old! That would work it had to work because I didn't have any other options.
The wedding was in DesMoines, Iowa. Kendra and I planned to drive up there since we were both good friends with Jeff and Sharon. I'd never been to DesMoines, had a vague idea how to get there and figured that a whole entire state couldn't' be that hard to find. Needless to say I made it as far as Kansas City before getting ridiculously lost! It was in Kansas City that I encountered my first gas station where the attendant was encased in Plexiglas. I was wishing I had a plexiglas case because that part of town was scary. "Sir.." "You must be lost. What are you doing here?" "We are looking for DesMoines do you know where it is?" "Iowa." "Ok...where's Iowa?" The attendant told me how to get back to, "my side of town" and on to I-35 which took me straight North to Iowa. It was a little over two hours. I think all total it was like six hours of driving one way, not too bad.
Iowa is an odd state. It's been 13 years since I've been there, but it's a funky state. The city of DesMoines (the capital building is beautiful incidentally) has a lot of highways running through it and you exit these highways to the side streets. The odd thing is you exit left and each of these exits have stop lights! What's up with an exit ramp having a stop light? I still don't' get that. Of all the things I remember about that trip, driving wise--that was it!
We found our hotel got settled in[STOP! Kendra and I each had our own room.] and began to meet people we would never meet again...all of Jeff and Sharon's family. Jeff's Mom, Dad, and sister were in town and hosting the rehearsal dinner. The wedding was that night and we all went off to the church. This church was typical church of Christ, but built on a hill and quaint. It smelled like it had been shut up for twenty years...all musty and old. The auditorium sat about 150. I had never conducted a ceremony before and was totally winging it. We practiced the walking in and seating and such, all as planned. When everyone felt comfortable about the ceremony we went to the basement for the rehearsal dinner.
Jeff's parents wanted to bring a little Texas to Iowa (they were from Houston) and so they had decorated the tables in Texas. Jeff's sister brought all of her cowboy boots that she had worn through the years and thought it would be cute to use them as centerpieces! These old, worn, dirty boots were on top of a table I was supposed use for food! In the boot were plastic bluebonnets and some other flowers. I just looked at Kendra and rolled my eyes. We could not believe dirty boots. Kendra leaned over to me and said, "Look they brought a little Texas terd with them." That was all it took for me to lose it! The boots had crap on them! Turns out barbecue joints in Iowa have no clue about doing Texas style barbecue. Amazingly they do Iowa style barbecue. Never heard of Iowa style barbecue? There's a reason.
After the dinner we went to a casino to gamble and part all night. Kendra and I were less than impressed and spent our allotment of "crazy cash" and went back to the hotel to get some rest. We were whopped and had a gut full of family we didn't know.
The next day the mood was decidedly tense. Everyone was nervous and on edge. Weddings do that to people, they get all keyed up. There is really no reason to be keyed up at a wedding because as long as they say, "I do" it's a success. Just don't catch anything on fire! One of the lines of the ceremony which I was using from a nearly fifty year old, timeless and traditional wedding book, went something like this, "Jeff...do you take Sharon...in forward and reverse blah, blah, blah." I didn't go into the words of the ceremony at the rehearsal because I thought it more important to get who was going to stand where. Seemed like a good plan to me.
Jeff, the groomsmen and I all walked into a song and stood there, this was after all of the family had been sat. Jeff's sister was one of the bride's maids and they were all in. The Maid of Honor was going to walk in to a song, Sung by Jeff's sister, then Sharon was going to enter. The song Jeff's sister sang sounded like the National Anthem at a baseball game! So much so that when she was through singing all of the groomsmen said, "Play ball!" It was met with mixed reviews. I just stood there smiling. As Sharon rounded the corner she was a vision--all brides are beautiful on their wedding day. Sharon was so nervous, she was crying the whole way down the aisle. Jeff had a, "what have I gotten myself into" look on his face. As she stood there sobbing, holding her Dad's arm I asked who was giving her away and such. Then Jeff took her arm and she stood with him. Jeff was a joker and rarely took things seriously, "Sharon...pull my finger." That one comment took her from crying to laughing. Laughing uncontrollably. She managed to get herself under control until I launched the forward and reverse torpedo at her and she lost it. I vowed never to use that line again. It was really bad, really, really bad. I've since adapted a pretty good ceremony that I like to use.
The wedding reception was in the foyer of the church. The 100 plus guests didn't fit into the foyer very well. The cake, from the local grocery store, was just barely placed on the table and the gal from the bakery was still touching up the boo boo's when we all walked in to the foyer. The long tables were covered in white cloth with sheer white tuleing. The cake topper was a Precious Moments Bride and Groom. There was the typical nuts, pillow mints, cheese cube tray, veggies with the dip (not in a pretty bowl, but in the container it came in) typical wedding punch...but this...this I've never seen in my life! I have yet to see this either. Where you would typically see a grooms cake there was...a huge punch bowl full of Gardetto's Mix. Kendra and I both just stood there in awe. "Is that trial mix? For a groom's cake?" "I think so, honey." "We are not doing that at our wedding." "Ya think?" We couldn't wait to get back home.
The drive home we talked about our wedding and how we wanted it to be, mostly about how we didn't' want it to be. We set the date on the way and got more and more excited about our wedding. WE HAD A DATE! It was actually going to happen and be a reality. It was really fun planning our wedding. We decided to stop in Missouri and spend the night with my Dad and Peggy (they had only been married a year) to meet the family and then head back to OKC on Sunday afternoon.
Dad and Peggy had just built and moved in to a beautiful house in the country. It was a great house. We got to Dad's about 11:30, he had been in bed for a good three hours by the time we got there. I knew we would be late because the wedding would go long and the drive was long. I asked Dad not so set the alarm, but he didn't listen. "Just use the code." I had no experience using an alarm pad and didn't really know how to work the dang thing. As Kendra and I stood in the hall trying to punch numers--BLAM!...BLAM!....BLAM! The alarm went off. My Dad busted out of the bedroom in nothing but his underwear, "What are you doing." "Hey Dad, just trying to get this thing to shut off." He turned off the alarm and went back to bed. Kendra was frozen! She had gazed into Medusa's eyes and was frozen. Actually the sight of her future father-in-law in nothing but his underwear had the same power as Medusa.
This was our first trip to Joplin since the engagement. So Kendra spent the whole day Sunday with her hand extended. She never stopped smiling. I'm surprised she didn't get a cramp in her cheeks from smiling. My Grandmother came to the house for lunch after church. "Grandma, this is Kendra Rushing. She and I are engaged and planning to be married in March." "Mrs. Spoon, I'm Kendra it's nice to meet you." "Uh-huh." That's all my Grandmother said, "Uh-huh." Meaner than mean, my Grandma is, but I still love her. "What's wrong with your Grandma?" "Nobody knows...nobody knows." My sister overheard us, "she's a mean ol'witch, that's what's wrong with her. See the wart." There's no love lost between my sister and my Grandma. She actually did have a war on her head! We still laugh about that. It's since been removed, but for our entire childhood and up until about six years ago was there.
Having met both sides of the family, warts and all! We still decided to get married and build our own life together. I was looking forward to the next several months and more foreword to my new life. A life not lived in loneliness. I had been lonely everyday of my life up until Kendra and I fell in love. Just knowing we were together, and planning to get married, the thought of having someone who wanted to be with me, and enjoyed my company, laughed at my ridiculous humor, and loved me--Me was just more than I could take. I didn't know how all this married stuff would work out, but I knew it would be OK because I had that smile!

The Courtship of Kendra Rushing Part Deux

Have you ever looked back over the chapters of your life and asked yourself, "how did I ever get here?" That's exactly how I feel now as I am reflecting our Kendra's and my 12th anniversary. How did I get her to say yes? I really don't know what I did or didn't do to get her to say yes--if for sure wasn't drugs--FOR SURE!
I knew Kendra was the girl for me (even though she was the only girl I ever dated--except for one ill-fated failed attempt at a date) and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and no one else. She was the girl for me. I don't really remember us shopping around for rings as we were getting more and more serious in our relationship. We spent every possible minute together and really couldn't think of doing anything else, but just hang out. She came over to my condo for dinner at least three times a week and after dinner we would listen to a Vince Gill CD on my boom box and just be together.
Through our limited conversations about rings and such IF we were to get married, I had a pretty good idea about what kind of ring she wanted. I wanted to pick the ring out for her on my own since it was my symbol to her of my pledge to her for our union. I landed on wanting to purchase the ring set from Bailey Banks and Biddle which is the place I had purchased my first gift of jewelry. I really liked that store and especially the guy that worked there named Doc. Doc was a straight talking New Yorker who didn't cut any punches and was free to tell me how every other Jewelry store in the mall was "*%$^%&$" DELUXE. Of course I believed him. I found this pear shaped diamond engagement ring which was set into a ring guard. The ring guard had 1/2 carats of baguette diamonds which gave the total diamond weight of the ring 1 carat. It wasn't too big, she didn't want something gaudy, and it wasn't too plain, it was just like my gal--simple, beautiful, timeless, and elegant. I had one credit card with enough credit to buy the ring. $5,500 was a lot of money to spend on the ring, but she was going to wear it her whole life and I wanted it to be nice. I really wanted to spend more, but just couldn't.
With the ring in hand I had to hide it until the big day of..."the question!" Most guys I know use the top drawer of their dresser for hiding valuables. It just so happens to be my underwear drawer and my safe! I stashed the ring into the very back corner under my shorts and felt safe in knowing she would never find it there. That brings us to the big controversy of our relationship. Since this is my blog and I'm the one typing I'm going to tell my version of what I think happened and you must believe me you simply must. It's true, exact, non-fiction, real time accounting from my mind which is like a steel colander!
Kendra was coming over to my condo and cleaning up my place and doing laundry to help me out and I think to show me how awesome she would be as my wife, taking care of me as any madly in love wife would do fer her man. I was loving it, the clothes on my floor around my full hamper would magically be removed and placed back in the drawer or closet clean and I wasn't doing a thing about it! That was awesome!
Kendra's and my friend, Karen, was a stick tight and hung out with Kendra all the time. She was also one of the people who kept pushing us to date and "hook up." Karen was a hoot and we did have a good time when we were together. Well...Karen was constantly asking us when we were going to get married. "For Pete's sake Karen we just started dating!" "[please read with a heavy west Texas drawl]Karen...he's not gonna ask me to marry him this soon...it took him three months to kiss me." That was true, what they both didn't know was I had a ring in my underwear drawer and was waiting for just the right time to pop the question.
What I didn't know is that Karen and Kendra were tearing my house apart looking for a ring. A ring which they say was happened upon as Kendra was putting away my clothes. A ring which they spun around in a circle screaming over when they found it. A ring which they did tell me they knew was in my underwear drawer until a year after we were married. Women are tricky. I contend, and hold to being a fact. That this CSI search was going on all the time. The neatly folded and stacked pile of underwear which hid the ring was underwear I didn't wear so It would never have to be disrupted or disturbed. I contend that there was mashing and poking going on in ALL of my drawers in search of the ring.
I wanted the big day...the big question to be a special time and a special occasion. Something memorable and meaningful that we would both love to tell our friends. That's where the problem comes in--I hate and can't keep presents in stow for more than a month because I would implode. The big question came on a night after Vince Gill had finished singing to us and she was about to go home, the part I hated--going home. She was about to go, we were saying goodbye and talking about our plans for tomorrow when, "wait right there. I'll be right back." "Where are you going?" "Hang on!" I ran into my room (it was three steps into my room from the living room) opened the safe and retrieved the box. Opened the lid and got onto my knees. As I crawled into the living room on my knees Kendra just looked at me with that look that I still get today, "What in the sam hill are you doing!" "Kendra...before you leave I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. I can't really imagine how I could live my life without you because I love you so much." "Awww...I love you to." "Well...hang on....Kendra I was wondering if you would be willing to spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?" That's when the ring was presented (which she knew was in the safe). She's not a very good shock faker, "Of course...oh I love it....it's beautiful." Needless to say, we didn't say goodbye for little bit longer. She kept looking at her finger and staring at that ring.
Next stop...Des Moines, Iowa

Memorial Memories

My family, the extended family, didn't get together much. Kendra is amazed that I do not know my cousins as she knows her cousins. Kendra's family is huge! Both her Mom and Dad have seven brothers and sisters, all with children, and some of those have children. Their family reunions run into the hundreds, all family, all close. There have been times that this closeness causes some discomfort, but by and large there is a great blessing to be said for having a large family. When Kendra and I were engaged and came time for me to meet the family I was petrified. We were in Oklahoma City and Kendra's family was in Sterling City, Texas. It was about a seven hour drive from OKC to SC, TX. I had never been to Texas before I went with Kendra.

The entire drive there I was busy learning the names of all her aunts and uncles. We focused mainly on her Mom's side of the family since we would be seeing more of them than on her Dad's. "Ok, all you have to do is call my grandpa Paw, Paw; my Grandma...Grandma; Then there is my Aunt Kathy and Uncle John they have John B, Margaret, and Katherine, my Aunt Jerry, Uncle Kelly, who have Candace, Chris, and Dustin, my Aunt Janice who has..." you can imagine how my head was spinning and we weren't even to the third aunt! I knew I was doomed, doomed. Entering situations that I've never been in, not knowing what is going to happen really keyes me up. Meeting my future wife's family on their turf for the first time is a butt-clench that I still feel to this day! Holy Cow it was awkward.

The drive to Sterling City was long, I felt as though I was pushing that car and not riding in it. We drove mostly in the dark because we both had to work before we left town. We were in Kendra's Nissan, little 5-speed Sentra, that was such a good car. There was a point in the drive to Sterling that I realized we had left civilization. I'm a city boy and used to wide roads and street lights to guide my way. We were in the toolies of Texas and there were no lights, no wide roads, no homes, no hills, just flat, barren, darkness. "Where are we?" "We are just about to Bronte?" "What's that?" "A town, we'll go through about six town before we get to Sterlin City." My wife has one of the best Texas accents around, I love to hear her talk.

After Robert Lee (a town) we hit the long stretch of road. Now when I say long stretch of Road I'm talking about Sacajawea saying, "Long river." This road is two lane, no lights, and about thirty minutes of driving straight, literally in a straight line. "Help me watch for buzzards." "What!" "Buzzards, oh yeah and deer, too." "I cant' see a thing." "Well you have to watch for buzzards and deer because they come up to the road at night, the buzzards want to eat the dead deer that people hit. And the deer are just stupid." As if I couldn't be more clinched the thought of encountering a buzzard feasting on the dead carcass of a deer was just too much. Where I'm from you just don't have to worry about that at all!

After completing the longest drive of my life, we turned left. "Now where are we?" "See that light up ahead?" "Yes, what is it?" "Well in about twenty minutes it's going to turn into Sterlin City." Twenty more minutes, at least this stretch of road was two lane divided highway. "Sterling county is the only county in Texas with one town-Sterlin." That bit of trivia is still amazing to me. "You have all the names down of my family, you are going to meet them tomorrow, my uncles will want you to go hunting with them." "What!" I had never hunted anything (well except the sale clothes rack) in my life. I didn't' know the first thing about stalking prey, killing it, I couldn't go hunting! I also did not bring the appropriate clothing for hunting. "Maybe I'll just stick by you (as a blood tick clings to it's host for dear life)." "What's my Mom's name?" "Ok, there's Ken and Billy, Devin and Mindy." "Good, my sister leaves tomorrow, but we'll get to see her a little bit. I'm sure they are up." It was around 1am and I was dead tired.

"Here we are." Sterling city is small. Currently, there is a huge truck stop (Town and Country) a grocery store (Hitchin Post) a Hardware store (Ross Hardware/funeral home) the bank, the post office, a Mom and Pop Pizza Mexican anything else place to eat, and Dairy Queen. You cannot be a Texas town and NOT have a DQ. At the time we were (which is now about 12 years) there Kendra's aunt and uncle had a grocery store as well. At their grocery store all you did was walk in find your groceries and sign this little slip of paper. That's it, the billed you. I had never seen anything like that my entire life.

When we got to Kendra's house her brother and sister were sure enough up and waiting for us. I had met Devin one other time. He's chatty cathy and full of trivia. Devin is one of my favorite people, you can't help but love him you just can't. He's married now and has three kiddos. He could be a whole entire post that Devin. I'll just leave it as him being one of my favorite people in the world.

I went to bed in the guest room. There was a ceiling fan in this room that I am sure was the propeller for a small engine. This fan created more wind in this room than you can imagine. I could feel the skin on my face peeling off it was unbelievable. The room was great, very comfortable, and...breezy! I never have trouble going to sleep and this was no exception. Even though I went to bed very late, I still woke up early--butt crack of dawn to be exact. I had to go to the bathroom. I couldn't walk out of the room and meet her parents for the first time before she woke up. I just couldn't. It was to awkward, just too awkward. This part of my personality undoes Mildred, who could chat up anyone! It was two hours before I heard Kendra get up--my bladder was about to explode. Had the window been big enough i would have crawled out the window peed in the yard and crawled back in. I heard the first sign of life--finally! "Hi sis.." "Hi Mom." I found out later that Kendra Dad said, "You better go get that boy, or he'll never come out of that room." He was exactly right, I would still to this day be in that room 12 years later, impacted and bloated--dead as a doornail. Her family was great. I felt at home from the very first time that I met them. Very hospitable, very Texan. Her family is a hoot, and I love to hear her tell stories about them.

The beauty of Steling City is one that you have to either love automatically or be born into, it just doesn't' come right out and hit you. I'm from the lush hill country of Missouri: Mark Twain National Forrest, Boston Mountains" Sterling City is flat ranch land. I have grown to love the southwestern landscape, but at first I struggled to see any beauty in this place.

Almost every man in the town wears a white cowboy hat and drives a truck. their face and arms are deep, dark brown while their foreheads are white as pure driven snow. The black and white photos of the ranchers crack me up because there are these tan fellas with snow white foreheads. Those cowboy hats are their saving grace I'm sure. I can't imagine what the sun would do to them if they didn't have those hats on.

Two other stories about Sterling then I'll shut up. First, the freezer. I wanted to cook dinner with Kendra and we had decided to make spaghetti. "The ground beef is in the freezer." I went to their upright freezer and looked for the meat. "It's in the bottom bin." Ok. I was picking up wal-mart sacks with kielbasa in them to get to the meat. "Will, do you know what you are holding?" "Sacks full of sausage." Kendra did not attempt to contain her laughter and began to roar! "N...n...n...o...i...t...i...s...s..n..a..k..e" "What did you say?" "They are rattlesnakes, you better put them back before they thaw." At that precise moment I had the energy to run, like Forrest Gump back to Oklahoma City non-stop! "Why in the sam hill would you have rattlesnakes in your freezer?" Turns out Kendra's dad hunted snakes for a living at one time and still caught them from time to time. He would put them in these sacks alive and place them in the freezer where they would coil up and die. They still love to talk about that around the dinner table and I still open the freezer with extreme caution!

Second. We were all in the back yard, which is beautiful. They have the most peaceful yard with cool Bermuda that is like walking on carpet. So nice. As we were all siting around chatting on the gazebo I looked down and saw a tarantula crawling between my legs. It was all I could do to not scream like a girl and do a clog dance on that sucker! "Uh...there is a tarantula between my legs..." Kendra's dad casually walked over, picked it up. "These things will not bite you, go ahead and hold it." I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to touch a tarantula. "That's ok, I believe you." Please God, don't put it in the freezer! The tarantula is a welcome sight in Texas because they are great at pest control. No fun for a City Slicker, but none the less occupying a good spot in the circle of life.

Our boys love going to Granny's house, Teensy has yet to make the trip. We are still very afraid to get too far away from Doctor's that know us and our teensy. One day we'll make the trek to Sterling City and I'm sure she'll love it as much as we do.

The Courtship of Kendra Rushing

I tend to lean on the side of being oblivious to the obvious. Especially when it comes to relationships and dating and all of that stuff. When people would tell me in college that so and so liked me it was a total shock, complete and total shock. There was, after all, no way that they could like me. Even more to the point is the fact that I was totally afraid of the confrontation and potential rejection of approaching any girl and "asking her out."
The courtship of Kendra Rushing is simply a miracle. I have no idea how she stayed with me or even decided to marry me for that matter. Lord knows she had plenty of warning! Kendra and I became good friends as a result of having mutual friends and "running together." I had known of Kendra as she was a Dorm supervisor for the Dorm in which some friends of mine lived in. Every day she would come striding in, black wind pants with a cotton shirt--hair pulled up into a clip on top of her head. She looked tough-really tough. And she had this posse that followed. Usually three sometimes four girls tagging along right behind her. It was that way everyday. She noticed me too and thought I was a snob. I was actually very shy and awkward and tried to avoid socialization. I did stare at a lot of people and usually had a jaw dropped but that's not snobbery--it's sociology.
We were great friends and really became close. What I didn't know was that she was falling in love with me. I, on the other hand had not a clue. Karen Neel was my coach and my cattle prod in getting me to take the leap of faith. I resisted because I was totally comfortable with the way things were and didn't want what we had to change because I pursued something better. I tend to like doing the same thing and don't ever have to change. i amd a consumate creature of habit and do not stray from my routines at all. My friends and family can attest to my proclivity to not changing a thing.
"Will, Kendra really likes you and you need to ask her out. She'll say yes and you guys will have a great time." I was still licking my wounds from the last date I suffered and didn't really want to get a fresh taste of that nightmare again. "I just don't know, we are good friends I don't' think she likes me." This was the conversation for several months. Winter had come which meant Christmas break. I had bought Kendra a new outfit and was very proud of the purchase. I thought she would look great. Kendra came over to my condo to exchange gifts. She bought me a robe, matching sleeping boxers, and two pictures of her. I immediately was uncomfortable that she gave me a gift I would wear to bed and thought that to be terribly forward of her. The pictures on the other hand were beautiful--she was beautiful. I just stared at those pictures and realized that I did love her. And that I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want her in Brazil, but here at home.
I told Karen that I was going to ask her out after Christmas break. "I'm going to write her a note and give it to her so she can read it over break. We can go out when she gets back." "You can't send her a letter--that's crazy. You just need to call her. Besides when she comes back from break she is going to start getting ready to go to Brazil." "Brazil! three years what the heck." She couldn't go to Brazil. Now I really had to move. I didn't' move. Christmas break came and Kendra left for home. Karen stopped by the church where I was working and gave me a letter from Kendra. Talk about betrayal! I read the letter which revealed her affections for me and knew I needed to get in touch with her. I left for home and stayed with Lucy. I tried to call all Christmas break and never could get through or determine if I was actually calling the right house. Their answering machine was messed up and the message was all goofy. I tried and tried. I told my sister to save the phone bill in case Kendra didn't believe me. She agreed.
When we all got back to school we decided to meet at Harrigan's for a New Year's dinner. Kendra, Karen, and me.
We wouldn't have our first date until October 29th. It was her birthday and we were going to go out to eat and to a movie. Dinner was great, with really good conversation--nothing awkward. Then came the movie. We were going to see some really long movie like Little Women or something and had our snacks and drinks. When we walked into the theater we sat down and I put my foot up on the armrest in front of me because I have really long legs. The armrest fell off--great! Kendra just laughed it off and settled into the movie. I put my arm around her just as the movie started to show some affection. We had yet to hold hands, hug, or kiss. As the movie played on I became uncomfortable with my arm around her and tried to move it. Kendra had leaned against my sweater and trapped my arm. This is where awkward comes in. I didn't want to say anything to her for fear she would think I didn't want my arm around her, I didn't want to jerk my arm away because I was afraid she would think I didn't want my arm around her. What would I do? Suffer!
After about 15 minutes of excruciating pain she readjusted in her seat and gave me a window of opportunity to move my arm. My arm had fallen asleep and moved to the state where you feel as though it is 200 pounds and totally limp. I had full and complete dead arm. When i moved it to my lap it just flopped onto my leg and sat there all swollen and limp.
We didn't hold hands for about a month or two after that. Again we were at the movies. I had decided that tonight was the night I would hold her hand. I was a nervous wreck. My strategy went like this: Make sure that I am on the left side--I'm left handed and needed to have my dominant hand free.; About 1/4 of the way through the movie I would put my hand on my thigh wait about five minutes and slide my hand toward my knee; at the 1/2 way mark I would place a pinkie on her knee...wait...then place the whole hand on her knee. That was the point of no return. Everything went as planned. But disaster was about to strike. I had my hand fully on her knee and she has placed her hand on her thigh in close proximity to my hand but not on my hand. We were not holding hands. She clearly didn't want to hold my hands and I had been totally to forward. We were sure to break up because she thought that I only wanted her for her body. Come to find out her arm was too short and mine too long-- she couldn't reach my hand!
Two months later I decided I would kiss her. I had tried to kiss her on several occasions during the decision point, but just never did. She either got out of the car before I could do anything, or just didn't happen. We would sit in my car in the parking lot and talk for hours and hours upon end, sometimes until 3 and 4 in the morning. Sunday night was the night I decided to kiss her. What would the strategy be? How in the name of God do you kiss someone? I had seen it in the movies but never actually kissed anyone other than good bye. So many questions. We talked and talked. It was about 2 am and she said, "I really have to go. I have work in the morning. I'll see you tomorrow night." We had been seeing each other every day for about two months now. "Wait...Kendra...there's something I need to do...I mean...something I need to ask you...well....it's just that I really like you and I enjoy holding your hand, but I was wondering if.." SMACK! I had kissed her! I had made contact with her lips! She kissed me back. No slap to the face or pepper spray, but a soft kiss in return for my aggressive move. "I thought you would never kiss me!" "Well, I just didn't want to seem too forward." "Don't worry, you are the farthest thing from forward. Kiss me again." I called Lucy to tell that my virgin lips were no more. My four year old niece answered the phone, "well it's about time Unkie! What took you so long?" "Can I just talk to your Mom please." "MOOOM! Unkie kissed that girl finally!"
One of our favorite games to play during our courtship was hide and seek. She was a live-in Nanny for three precious kiddos and we spendt hours and hours together playing with them. Hide and Seek was fun because the kids would hide and we would hide--to kiss! Dirty and perverted I know, but kissing was fun.
We dated for a year. Then i asked her if she would be my wife to which she agreed. We were married in the middle of March and enjoyed a honeymoon in Vegas. Talk about Moses going to Sodom! I was out of place. What happened on our honeymoon will stay locked away between she and I for our hearts only. All I will say is that if you think Barney Fife and Gomer Pile were bumbling fools, they had nothing on the learning curve of our honeymoon!